Digitized Chubby Bear Fighter Coming Soon To Your Local Arcades

Game Set Watch has an update on a game that I’ve been following for the past two years: Dark Presence.  First of all, when this game was announced, many gamers quickly ridiculed the non-intimidating-looking actors (check out Destructoid‘s biting impressions).  Who can really blame them?  The costumes look cheap and the weapons appear to be plastic toys.  Also, such screenshots appear to be behind-the-scenes exclusives for a digitized fighting game in 1990…

However, with my initial impressions out of the way, remember when I talked about a crappy Full-Motion-Video Game called Urban Runner?  Remember when I said this?: “Sometimes crappy games become better when adding woofy bears.” Heck, I haven’t seen a single video footage for Dark Presence, but I have already given a thumbs up for the game since the actor playing Titan is just freaking woofy.

My quarters are primed and ready to play this supremely hot chubby bear biker with his massive skull-&-spine battle-axe.

And with my [BearBeat] fetish, looks like my fantasies of controlling a character to beat up on a realistic big bear in glorious 1080p and 15,000 frames of animation goodness are finally coming true.  I mean, come on.  Check out that kick to the massive man’s gut on the above photo.  I just hope that the grunting sounds are awesome too.  (I know, I know, I’m a sick, sick man.)  Also, I hope that one of the game’s fatality moves is called “Striptality”…

The game is not even out and they already have a sequel for it called Conquering Light.  Titan is not in it, though there is a semi-shirtless daddy bear in his place.  Anyway, Destructoid has a screenshot of that daddy bear (called “Grant”) and he’s also definitely a woofer.

Anyway, this old school arcade “revitality” (get it? *groans*) reminded me of the countless tokens I had dropped on Pit Fighter (even bought an Atari Lynx for this fabulous — lol — game).  Though Buzz was my favorite Pit Fighter, the very first bad guy you fight (who happened to be a tanned, sweaty, & smooth musclebear) was THE main reason I loved the game.  Here he is.  The one.  The only.  The Executioner…

While searching for those Executioner screenshots, I wanna give a shout out to Google for providing me with this Executioner photo…  OH WOW!