Like Ron Josol, Edwin San Juan is also a Filipino stand-up comedian. I remember him being thin about a few years ago, but he appeared to have matured into a cute cub. I think that bald head makes him even sexier…
Anyway, I definitely need to post these great comedy routines about racial stereotypes (as that Boris Haraldsson exchange has left a bitter taste in my soul). Stereotypes are supposed to be funny. They’re not meant to be taken literally…
Kris Aguilar is one of the few musclebound actors from the Philippines. In the late ’80s/early ’90s, I remember going to local Filipino stores in Hawaii and scouring through VHS tapes that would have his name on the credits or some screenshots of him from the tapes’ back covers. Unfortunately, he played bit parts so the only way I could accurately figure it out was by watching as many Filipino movies I could so that I could see the trailers. Dedication, huh? Or was that psychosis? Anyway, in most of his roles, you either see him sporting a tight-fitting muscle t-shirt, or wearing an open vest (so that you could take a peek at his delectable bulging muscles), or just completely shirtless.
The following screenshots is a sampling of him getting gut-punched in Bloodfist II.
[FUN FACT: Kris Aguilar was also the bad guy in Bloodfist. He sported a mohawk in that original martial arts extravaganza then grew a mullet in Part 2 so that people would not recognize him. I don’t think it worked.]
This is pretty anti-climactic but I have some really fuzzy screenshots from a Filipino film called Makuha Ka Sa Tingin (Kung Puede Lang) (“To Get You With A Look (If It’s Okay)”). Basically, Kris Aguilar plays a musclebound fighter in an illegal street fighting ring. He was beating up on the hero (played by Robin Padilla) when Robin’s girlfriend tried to assist by kicking and punching big Kris on the gut. Needless to say, such punches were ulitmately weak and, no offense, girly. Kris then trapped the girlfriend to a corner and performed that typical pro-wrestling maneuver: scaring her with grunts and muscle poses with just enough time for the hero to recuperate and beat the living crap out of the beefy bad guy. Needless to say, the tables got turned and Kris got cornered; then, in very bad slow-motion, got punched repeatedly on the gut.
I was born in the Philippines, and because of it, I’ve seen a lot of our movies (most of them were pretty bad; though we’re slowly improving). It’s my native homeland’s passion and obsession. We also love television and especially gossip news. Sometimes, I feel that the Philippines is an island of nosy islanders. Just sometimes.
Our list of thespians doesn’t have a lot of bearish and chubby men. My all-time favorite is John Regala. I love him as he’s normally typecasted as a deranged villain. He is actually a babyface, however, he has perfected the craft of acting maniacal. Here’s a sample of his acting talents…
This is a disturbing scene, so please don’t watch it if you’re easily offended. Unfortunately, it’s the only video I could find of John Regala.
And this is just some background history if you decide to watch this: Back in the early ’90s, a new genre was literally created: “Massacre Movies.” These are typically based on real-life massacres (normally about families — oftentimes, wealthy ones — who were brutally murdered in their homes). This is somewhat like the glut of “Torture Porn” movies that’s popular in America right now (though its popularity appears to be waning).
Even more disturbing is that this scene literally stole the music
from Hitchcock’s famous bathroom shower scene in “Psycho.” ^_^
And here’s the bad boy, Mr. John Regala, taking a bath, smoking, and getting his stogie smoked by a lucky girl from a film called “Notoryus.”
Remember when I said that Filipinos love gossips? Well, you see that tattoo on his right chest? That’s an actress named Beth Tamayo. He was completely in love with her that he had that tattoo imprinted on himself even though they weren’t even dating. Unfortunately, they never did get together and I’m not sure whether he still has that tattoo or not…
Awesome. I just got informed that he has a music video on YouTube. It’s a Chrisian song titled, “Ama Salamat Po” (“Father, Thank You”). A big Salamat to my fellow Flip, Justin! ^_^
Well, I must say that after seeing him being such an evil bad guy most of the time, watching and listening to this is completely a shock to the system. In a way, I wish that I did not see this at all! I’m retracting my “salamat” to you, Justin! Lol.
During the late ’70s and early ’80s, I was growing up in the Philippines and utterly confused about my curious attractions to big men. One of the actors that fed my visual appetites was an actor named Paul Smith. I’ve probably rented and watched Midnight Express on Betamax so many times that I can’t quite remember.
Another early lust of mine and somewhat resembled Paul Smith was Bud Spencer. Bud’s films were harder to find in Betamax so I resorted to anticipating the Saturday Afternoon TV Matinees (on 1 channel out of a total 5) as they would typically show one of his numerous dubbed films.
One day, I decided to put a piece of tape on a Betamax tape’s notch (there’s normally a piece of plastic here so that recording was possible). I’ve rented this Betamax (it was a Claymation film called I Go Pogo) from a nearby Mom and Pop store so that I would be able to record a Bud Spencer movie called Banana Joe. I told my Grandma that I lost the Betamax tape so I was rewarded with a good, old-fashioned butt-spanking while she paid 20 Pesos for my lost “I Go Pogo” tape. But it was worth it. To this day, I still have this Betamax tape. If I so desire, I can watch it again from a Betamax player I had won from eBay a few years ago.
Fast forward to today. I’m 35. Alone. And, well, lonely. How the years do drastically change. Paul Smith and Bud Spencer are in their 80’s (for Pete’s sakes, I can actually type down the word, “octogenarians”). There are a gazillion channels out there. Renting and buying entertainment in physical media form is becoming obsolete. Kids nowadays can get practically anything through a high-speed internet connection.
Yeah, I feel old. I’m also an evolving breed of the detached voyeur and eager collector of lusted bearish men. I flow with the times. Instead of a notebook, I start a blog. Instead of talking to myself, I now ramble and rant with others. I used to collect and share images & videos of my attractions via Betamax, VHS, and DVDs; now most of my collection are digital collections all stored in a computer hard drive.
I would like to stop and live life before I myself get lucky or unlucky enough to become an octogenarian. But, the strange thing is, I enjoy this. I guess, until then, this blog will continue on, unless one day, others can just download everything that I possess through a headset that transmits knowledge directly into the brain. That would be a Fantastic Planet…