Jareb Dauplaise: Spoof Of Movies (“Transporter 3”)

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This particular movie spoof acted by Jareb Dauplaise needs its very own post.  You will immediately see why the moment you scroll down for the video, screenshots, and this little animated gif…

jareb-dauplaise-transported-3

Anyway, this is a Transporter 3 spoof, titled “Transported 3”:


(higher quality version)

[Related Posts – Jareb Dauplaise]

Jareb Dauplaise: Spoof Of Movies (“Twilight” & “Eagle Eye”)

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Jareb Dauplaise, one of my favorite chubby cub, is in a couple of hilarious movie spoofs in a YouTube channel called spoofofmovies.  Not only is this young man fantastically handsome by all accounts, he is also a very talented comedian.

Here he is in a Twilight spoof, titled “Twilite”:


(higher quality version)

Gotta give mad props to the female lead, Maiara Walsh, as well.  She’s definitely sexy and downright funny…

Speaking of Twilight, the film itself was not bad.  The audience it’s definitely meant for are the tweens and teens.  I just loved the fact that practically all of the characters were not your stereotypical archetypes, especially the high school teens.  It’s just awesome that tween girls now have a “geek” movie of their own, as both straight and gay tweens of old have been spoiled with tons of geek-filled films…

Off on a tangent there.  Finally, here is Jareb’s Eagle Eye spoof, titled “Eagle Eyed”:


(higher quality version)

[Related Posts – Jareb Dauplaise]

Dancing Kevin: Fat Boys Can Dance

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D.T. had done it again and managed to find awesome links and photos (and even secret ways of retrieving higher resolutions of images).  Thank you, friend!  Last time it was Big Tony Scrivens, this time, he had reintroduced me to the chubby goodness that is Dancing Kevin of The Brew 96.1.

Definitely check out the following links-o-mania to everything Dancing Kevin:

Personal Blog
MySpace Page

YouTube Page

http://www.973thebrew.com/cc-common/gallery/globalphotos.html

Search for “Kevin” on the page.
http://www.961thebrew.com/pages/dancinkevinpage.html
Larger versions of these pics are available by following these 4 simple steps:

STEP 1: Right-click on the photo you’re drooling over.  Select “Properties.”  (We’re gonna check out Photo 12, because that Lion Mascot is rubbing on Dancing Kevin’s belly.)

STEP 2: Highlight the url/location of that image:http://www.961thebrew.com/cc-common/gallery/thumb.php?src=/export/home//cc-common/mlib/3370/04/3370_11771718993.JPG&wmax=446&hmax=410&quality=90

STEP 3: Paste the url on your browser (preferably a new window).  Now focus on this part of the url:
wmax=446&hmax=410&quality=90
Change the numbers to this:
wmax=1000&hmax=1000&quality=90

So now, it looks like this:

http://www.961thebrew.com/cc-common/gallery/thumb.php?src=/export/home//cc-common/mlib/3370/04/3370_11771718993.JPG&wmax=1000&hmax=1000&quality=90

STEP 4: Now you have a better image.  One last thing left to do: Dance!

Chubb Rock: “Treat ‘Em Right”

Vodpod videos no longer available.
“Treat ‘Em Right” from the album, The One

Speaking of The Wackness being my “Greatest Movie of 2008,” its soundtrack had brought back fond memories of a favorite rapper of mine back in 1991: Chubb Rock.  Unlike other rappers, his lyrics were predominantly anti-gang, anti-drugs, anti-negativity, with a sprinkle of modesty.  Man, this is why I loved 1991.  It was also the summer of Fishbone‘s finest hour with their album, “The Reality of My Surroundings.” Dammit.  I really wish that I could relive that time again…

Anyway, here’s Chubb Rock now in Part 2 of an interview where he talks about the current state of hip-hop, politics, and his weight loss.

And, finally, here’s my phattest, dopest, tightest, illest photo of The Chubbster, yo…

Sidney Ponson: Yankees Starter

Whoa.  Sidney Ponson’s starting tonight in Game 2 of a doubleheader against the Mets.  And who is he starting for?  That’s right.  The New York Yankees.  Hells, yeah.  Another hottie pitcher for my team.  Unfortunately, Mr. Ponson has slimmed down a bit and had grown that dreaded mullet.  He is definitely way woofier with a shaven head.  Anyway, you guys can decide for yourself if my mullet-hating ways is justified.


Mr. Ponson, yes, that’s a good pose right there…


…And, yes, turn around for the camera.  Good job!

You see?  Perfection.  Isn’t it?  Now, look at the new look:


Mr. Ponson, I think you broke my camera with your 100 mph mullet.


Oh, yeah.  Sweat and nipplage action.  😉

Call me strange, but I tend to get excited when a pitcher starts to sweat profusely, especially when he’s about to blow lose a game.  Something about his “defeated” expressions that seem to border on my bondage fetish of sorts.  Here’s Sidney, sweating it up.  Good news for me, bad news for the Orioles fans.

Finally here are some artifacts of the chubbier Sidney Ponson…

[BearBeat] John Gemberling: Goofy Chubby Gets Offed … Twice

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I found out about John Gemberling in a bizarre and twisted film called Palindromes.  He had a short scene, and there are screenshots of it here (though he looks like a kid and even resembles Andy Milonakis, rest assured that he is of legal age).  ^_^

Mr. Gemberling has 2 MySpace pages:

John Gemberling’s MySpace #1
John Gemberling’s MySpace #2

The following YouTube shorts are of John Gemberling getting beat up and, sadly, killed.  The first video shows a lot of yummy belly shots, while the second video shows a quick reveal of his left armpit.

BearBeat Score:
2 out of 5 Pawnches

I had to give a low score because Gemberling’s two characters die.  That’s not good.  Also, in the first video, he was a bit too gay (lol) with the pirate delivery; while in the second video, he had too short of a screen time.

[BearBeat] Bad Criminal Chub Gets Caught And Beaten Up By Midget Policemen

Well, all in good fun actually.  This is a promo for SpikeTV’s “World’s Wildest Police Videos.”  It’s inspired from the classic era of comedies of Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin.  I know that there are about 2 variations of this promo where the “bad criminal chub” rips off his shirt then gets arrested while his belly gets pounded on with foam nightsticks by midget policemen.

Either way, this is extremely hot and sexy to me: hot, studly chub ripping off shirt, revealing a body that was written on by some lucky person, while he gets caught by small police officers, leaving his arms “seemingly” tied and bound while the sound of fake nightsticks pound incessantly on his wide and sexy chubby body…


EDIT: Had some issues with the original video.  Hope this works.

Lol.  Hey, what can I say.  Just as Nirvana once said, come as you are…  ^_^

BearBeat Score:
5 out of 5 Pawnches