Shirtless Saturday: David DeLuise In “Vampires Suck”

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I try not to be a movie snob, but I can’t help it when movies like “Vampires Suck” do well financially while films such as “Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World,” “Kick-Ass,” and “Let Me In” do horrible business (just goes to prove that the popularity level of such geek-centric flicks are somewhat akin to gay-centric films).

Anyway, more often than not, these parody films will always include a jab or two at our larger and husky brethren.  Jareb Dauplaise, for example, was unfortunately poked fun of in both “Meet The Spartans” and “Epic Movie.”  But, hey, we got to see skin and no one is really twisting my arms to watch these abominations.  So just go ahead and continue to give us our bears and chubs in all of their natural glory.

With that superficial rant out of my system, here’s David DeLuise getting all shirtless in “Vampires Suck.”  In these screenshots, he revealed a physique molded by his dedication to “Mixed Martial Arts, Tae Bo, and Yogalates.”  Okay, so, um, maybe I kinda lol’ed at that.

And you know what?  I am definitely itching to watch just his scene on Blu-Ray…

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Goonday Moonday: Lou Klein And The Chubby Spartans

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I’m a movie trailer fan.  Ever since I was a kid, I tend to love trailers more than the actual films themselves.  I love the drama and excitement that would ooze out from them.  It’s the thrill of the anticipation, I guess.  I just love to be teased…  Speaking of which, I’ve watched the Star Trek reboot a couple of times now and I still watch its trailers.  The movie itself has plot holes/contrivances galore, but one thing is for sure, it’s one damn exciting film that made me shed a tear or two…  Oh heck, I literally cried in a couple of scenes.  *_*  And being a fan of both Star Wars and Star Trek, I just realized that I tend to love the supporting crew of the Enterprise versus the dysfunctional Skywalker family.  Yeah, I know, I said it…  -_^

Lou Klein 300 Pounds 02What did you say about STAR WARS?????!!!!!

Well, about a year ago, I’ve posted some blurry promo shots from a film called 300 Pounds by Jeff Centauri of Hollywood Ninja Pictures.  Anyway, it appears that this film will soon be released on July 27, 2009.  I don’t even care whether the film is going to be entertaining or not.  The fact of the matter is, the lead is played by the fantastically gorgeous Lou Klein (he reminds me of a huscular version of Sebastian Cabot) who is joined by other equally handsome chubby actors.  Speaking of trailers, Jeff Centauri’s YouTube page has a couple of trailers/bloopers/behind-the-scenes look of 300 Pounds.  Make sure to watch some of them in High Def.

Lou Klein 002Just look at those bear pecs…

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Lou Klein Spartan Chest Massage

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Alright, if you are remotely like me, you probably have already exploded by the time you have reached this far — if you know what I mean.  Anyway, wouldn’t it be great if our police officers and soldiers would wear such uniforms.  I know I’d approve.

Here are more photos of the other chubby Spartans from the film…  Thank you, Jeff Centauri.  Thank you very much…

300 Pounds Spartans 04He somewhat resembles Mark Addy…

300 Pounds Spartans 06…and he appears to be playing the role of the blind Spartan,
which was also spoofed by Jareb Dauplaise

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Blinded Spartan 04

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Jareb Dauplaise: Spoof Of Movies (“Transporter 3”)

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This particular movie spoof acted by Jareb Dauplaise needs its very own post.  You will immediately see why the moment you scroll down for the video, screenshots, and this little animated gif…

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Anyway, this is a Transporter 3 spoof, titled “Transported 3”:


(higher quality version)

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Jareb Dauplaise: Spoof Of Movies (“Twilight” & “Eagle Eye”)

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Jareb Dauplaise, one of my favorite chubby cub, is in a couple of hilarious movie spoofs in a YouTube channel called spoofofmovies.  Not only is this young man fantastically handsome by all accounts, he is also a very talented comedian.

Here he is in a Twilight spoof, titled “Twilite”:


(higher quality version)

Gotta give mad props to the female lead, Maiara Walsh, as well.  She’s definitely sexy and downright funny…

Speaking of Twilight, the film itself was not bad.  The audience it’s definitely meant for are the tweens and teens.  I just loved the fact that practically all of the characters were not your stereotypical archetypes, especially the high school teens.  It’s just awesome that tween girls now have a “geek” movie of their own, as both straight and gay tweens of old have been spoiled with tons of geek-filled films…

Off on a tangent there.  Finally, here is Jareb’s Eagle Eye spoof, titled “Eagle Eyed”:


(higher quality version)

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Jareb Dauplaise: “Meet The Spartans” (1 of 9)

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Remember when you used to collect trading cards, such as baseball cards, movie cards, and even those Garbage Pail Kids cards?  You still do?  Well, we have a problem then.  🙂  Anyway, like those trading cards, I’ll be posting a series of Jareb Dauplaise screenshots from “Meet The Spartans.”  Just pretend that these photos have the “Topps” logo imprinted on them.

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Jareb Dauplaise: Sweaty Chubby Spartan

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Meet The Spartans was a horrible movie.  In fact, calling it a “film” is being generous.  It did not even try at all to be clever or, heaven forbid, funny…  Regardless, the one shining beacon in this “film” was the presence of cute chubby bear, Jareb Dauplaise.  I only watched Epic Movie to simply watch his 2-minute performance as Nacho Libre.  Lol.  Yes, if you haven’t noticed it by now, I am pretty shallow.  Anyway, to keep up with today’s posts with a “sweaty” theme, here is Mr. Dauplaise with his proud and sweaty chubby physique…

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Our fellow young bear/chub admirers will one day pinpoint this film as an
integral part of their sexual awakening — as Rick Zumwalt in
“Over The Top” had done for my own “bear” discovery…