Tag Archives: horror

Paul Clemens: “The Horribly Slow Murderer With The Extremely Inefficient Weapon”


ChaserAlex submitted a very extended trailer that quickly became an instant favorite.  It’s Richard Gale‘s “The Horribly Slow Murderer With The Extremely Inefficient Weapon”…

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I’m not sure if it’s a trailer for an even longer trailer or for a short film; but one thing is for sure, I definitely cannot wait to see this in its entirety.  This trailer is genius and writer/director Richard Gale really knew how to parody horror while at the same time respecting it.  That’s a tough act to juggle…

More importantly, our film’s woeful protagonist is played by a handsome daddy bear, Paul Clemens.

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Paul Clemens reminds me of another woofy daddy bearish actor: J.T. Walsh.  Check out this trailer compilation for Needful Things (awesome movie and book, by the way) and check out J.T. Walsh’s “I killed my wife…is that wrong?” delivery.  Also, I found this interesting article where Russell’s Crowe character in Body Of Lies was also compared to the late J.T. Walsh: NY Magazine.

Russell Crowe and JT Walsh

Joe Davison: Woofy Independent Filmmaker

Joe Davison Beast

Joe Davison shotgunEver since I saw the low-budget film, 100 Tears, on DVD, not only did I become an instant fan of this ultra-gory slashfest, I also instantly fell in love with its writer/star, Joe Davison.  Unlike modern slasher films, this movie does not shy away from the actual “kill moment” nor does it switch to computer trickery either.  You see the incoming kill, you see what actually happens, and you then see its cringe-worthy results.

I really want to see what Joe can do with an actual Hollywood budget and I can only salivate on the what-ifs scenarios.  I then continued to follow his progress in the difficult world of independent filmmaking and I am excited to learn that his new film, Experiment 7, will be released soon (unfortunately, just for the lucky guys and ghouls who can attend the Freak Show Film Fest in Orlando, Florida).

Joe Davison shades

Joe Davison 100 TearsBeing a horror fan who’s slowly losing his interest in the genre, it is passionate artists like Joe Davison who keep hooking me back in.  100 Tears was low-budget and it showed.  However, it made up for down-to-earth acting and realistic gruesome special effects that never once used any digital manipulation.  When I then saw him in Fearmakers, I was a bit disappointed with the film and its special effects as it actually relied on computer special effects which ended up looking really, well, “cheesy.”  Still, it was worth the price of admission for seeing Joe Davison again in his leading-man role.

Being an unabashed Bruce Campbell fanboy, Joe Campbell is definitely up there in regards to horror genre heroes.  As Bruce relies on slapstick humor, thanks to Sam Raimi’s patented campy Looney Tunes-like horror, Joe relies on the subdued type of humor.  When I read on Mr. Davison’s biography, I found out that he used to be a comedian and his skills on that craft really show up in his films.  In 100 Tears, there was a natural flow to the dialogue that I found completely endearing.

Anyway, there are three main reasons why I’m excited to see Experiment 7.  One, is a given, but I’ll say it anyway: Joe Davison is flat-out amazingly handsome (this is also his directorial debut).  Second, he’s playing a snappy-talking, gun-toting badass in an apocalyptic landscape (if I have any favorite type of literary thematic fetishes, that would be it).  Check out the trailer below:

As part of my related ramblings, my Fallout 3 character was named JoeD in honor of Joe Davison.  That then concludes my final reasoning as to why I’m excited to see this flick.

Here are three hilarious instructional videos from Mr. Davison channeling William Shatner on how to kill these “supernaturalalitism” (lol) creatures…

How To Kill A Werewolf

How To Kill A Vampire

How To Kill A Zombie

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Joe Davison How To Kill A Zombie 01

Finally, here are some photos of Joe Davison with his killer right dimple…

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Okay, well, apparently, there are more.  Here are some shirtless photos of the ever-woofy Joe Davison…

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This was a WTF moment in the film "Fearmakers." It's a photo that shows up on his buddy's laptop.

Bears, Horror, & Halloween

The horror movie genre was what got me hooked into film.  I think one of the main reason why I loved the genre was because it made me feel “normal” and “less evil” for being gay.  I am somewhat outgrowing the horror movie genre, but it will always have a special place in my heart.  Anyway, for this Halloween season, here are just some completely random horror films that just so happen to have some bearish actors in them…

Scream was the film that gave the horror genre a revitalizing kick in the behind.  It was a self-aware parody while giving the “goods” of a slasher film.  The bearish character above is W. Earl Brown (seen eating a bag of Cheetos and Tostitos) minutes before his demise.  (Rule #85: Eating more than one type of junk food in the span of 3 minutes will get you killed.)  Not only is Mr. Brown an actor, but he also has a country music group called the Sacred Cowboys.

Bruce M. Fischer and Richard Davalos were two of the husky daddy bears in one of my favorite childhood supernatural horror films, Something Wicked This Way Comes.  To this day, it’s an effective horror/dark fantasy film that did not rely on cheap scares but on great writing, acting, and excellent directing.

Tony Munafo appears in the first of three stories in one of my favorite horror movie anthology: Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (Creepshow being my ultimate favorite).  He played a thug for a mafia-run company helping people kick their smoking addiction.  I remember thinking how perfect this bearish man was when I was just 12 years old…

No Way To Treat A Lady is more of a thriller, but, hey, it’s just a technicality because it was a fantastic hybrid of dark comedy and suspense.  It is also a compelling character piece from Rod Steiger, who was utterly mesmerizing and chilling as a chameleon-like serial killer preying on women.

Now here’s a nasty piece of no-holds-barred splatterpunk cinema from France: À l’intérieur (Inside).  This is what I would call a concentrated piece of truly terrifying filmmaking.  It’s unapologetic with its violence and masochistic treatment of its characters.  Loved it.  I’ve already posted about the unbelievably handsome husky actor, Ludovic Berthillot, who had a very unfortunate short scene in the film.

Feast surprised me for being way too fun and highly entertaining for a monster flick.  It reminded me of another horror-comedy-monster classic, Tremors.  Duane Whitaker plays the slimy owner of a bar where all of the frenetic action takes place.

Russell Hornsby was hilarious as a cowering boyfriend/wannabe gangsta in the horror-comedy, Stuck.  Even though it was hard to buy Mena Suvari’s “turn” from a humane nurse to an inhuman monster, it was a dark parable of what certain situations can do to the human spirit.  This film explores such nasty side and it was definitely not pretty…

Salem’s Lot is one of my favorite vampire movies.  These vampires were very traditional and would probably be very angry at the more recent hip vampires on tv and film today.  I have nothing against hip vampires, but sometimes, I just want my vampires to be completely evil… and conservative.  ^_^  The super-cute chubby bear, George Dzundza, is also in the film which is a big bonus in my book.

Well, that about wraps up my random horror movie picks that just so happen to have bearish actors in them.  You gals and ghouls have a safe and spooky Halloween!

Andre “Doc” Newman (as Maggot) from The Dead Hate The Living!

Ludovic Berthillot: “Inside” & Acting Reel

I was just watching Inside (À l’intérieur) and I can honestly say that it’s one of the greatest horror film ever in the slasher subcategory.  The film was unrelentingly brutal and provided the bloody goods for the horror gorehound in me.  By the way, you crazy French really know your splatter genre.  ^_^

Fortunately, there was a bearish actor that caught my eye.  I then realized that it was the same actor that I could not figure out from another movie titled, District 13 (Banlieue 13) (the very film where the woofy Jeff Rudom was also in).

This amazingly handsome French actor is Ludovic Berthillot and he has an official site where I got the following actor’s reel from:

[Related Posts – Ludovic Berthillot]
[Related Posts] – Jeff Rudom]