Tag Archives: jim the anvil neidhart

Bears In Games: “Legends Of Wrestlemania”

Burly Legends Of Wrestlemania
I grew up with these bearish behemoths — in more ways than one…

Koobert from Bears In Games has a threesome of great videos about bearish men in sports-themed video games (check out Bears In Games’ YouTube Page).  The one I’d like to highlight today is Legends Of Wrestlemania.

It’s pretty cool that even when Koobert designed a very obvious gay-looking character, his online opponents would not harass him nor negatively criticize the flamboyant look of his wrestler.  I found that interesting as pro-wrestling fans tend to get an image of being extremely homophobic.  Unfortunately, we find our homophobic brethren in video games like Halo.  I actually watched my co-worker’s 14-year-old son spew insults like “Fucking fag that is so fucking gay you’re gonna get it fucked up in your fucking fag gay ass” in Halo 3.  Ah, to be 14…

Pro-wrestling, especially WWF in the ’80s and ’90s, was my source of a “different type” of entertainment.  It was a world where half-naked burly men role-played a character, as they sweated and wrestled away.  I had a personal attraction towards wrestlers who were cocky, arrogant, and just plain villainous (check out my Sonny Roselli post).  If you looked at the wrestling roster on the above image, I only have about three “good guys” (or “faces”).  But then again, they were also at one point villains prior to WWF.  I guess I just love “bad bears” (I was so angry when I rented The Bad News Bears in Betamax).  Anyway, I feel that today’s pro-wrestling does not have the same mystique that these bearish wrestlers provided back in the day.  There was a rawness and realness to the theatrics that they used to entertain us.  It’s probably still out there since I viewed pro-wrestling a bit differently as a child, teenager, and heck, as an adult in my early 20’s.

Anyway, if you like these bearish pro-wrestlers, SDW Media is the source for all classic pro-wrestling videos (you can read more on my write-up about that company here).

Finally, let me end with an Arn Anderson entrance video from Legends Of Wrestlemania as well as a high-res image of Big John Studd.  Yes, if you look at the collage again, they are my top two professional wrestlers of all-time.

big john studd legends of wrestlemania

Give A Bear Admirer A Wrestling Magazine, And He’ll Find Porn

Many years ago, I wrote a coming-of-age short story for my Freshman year Creative Writing class.  I thought that it was the bestest story I had ever written.  Like Ralphie from A Christmas Carol, I was gleaming with joy knowing that my teacher would be wowed by such a heartwarming tale of a teenager coming to grips with his sexuality.

Unfortunately, my ego was crushed when I got a D- for my work.  In short, she was not clear on what a “bear” was which left her completely confused with the whole story.  To this day, I still remember those bleeding red marks on the bottom of my final page: “Is this a gay story?”

Anyway, with that brief background, the title of this post is in honor of my failed short story.  It is also the very title that I used.

The moment I saw this magazine in a grocery store, I already knew that I was going to buy it.  But then, thoughts of guilt and shame washed over me.  What will the grocery lady at Daeai Holiday Mart think?  Oh.  My.  God.  She’ll know!  She’ll know that I’m only buying this because I am so attracted to Tommy “Tiny” Lister, Jr.!  I mean, just look at that massive and beefy chest.  Who wouldn’t go weak at such an image of bulky muscles?  I can already envision those pecs undulate, mesmerizing me into a euphoric orgasmic ecstasy.  Then look at how Mr. Lister’s pecs are about to connect with Hogan’s chest.  How can you not fall in lust with such perfect symmetry?…  Anyway, I then grabbed a bag of Doritos so that I did not look like a loser and went there just to buy this porno mag.

At the checkout line, my heart was pounding with fear.  I feared that the lady would touch the glossy magazine cover with her greasy fingers.  And what did you know?  She landed her right grubby paw on Mr. Lister’s perfect physique as she scanned the barcode.  I could then hear my libido: “Oh please don’t bend the magazine, oh please, please, pretty please, please!” Needless to say, she bent it.  I cried.

Pathetic.  I know.  😉

Ah yes.  Mr. Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.  He’s one of my favorite classic bearish wrestlers of all-time.  He’s furry, muscular yet chubby, and has a beefy gut that he would proudly display on certain matches.

As for that specific magazine, look at those wide shoulders and stocky chest.  That goatee is also unbelievably sexy.  And with his mouth partly open, it’s just an invitation of all-night lovin’ and romance.  “Take no prisoners”?  Sir, I’d go M.I.A. anytime…

Oh my.  Junk Yard Dog.  He’s one of the few “good guys” that I fell in love with.  How could I not?  Look at that bearish physique and perfect beard of his.  I always went nuts every time I saw him with those chains wrapped around him.  There’s just something primal and beastly about such a minimal attire.

And as for the magazine itself: “JYD’s Ultimate Weapon.”  Hmm.  I’m pretty sure exactly what his ultimate weapon is…

And, finally, The Magnificent One Don Muraco-WWF Era.  I normally saw him shaven, displaying his smooth and bulky muscles.  This magazine, on the other hand, proudly displays a Don Muraco that I completely love and appreciate.  He is definitely “The Rock”…

SDW Media: The Only Place For Fans Of Pro-Wrestling & Bearish Wrestlers

sdw-media.jpg
Let’s see: Ginormous monster heels,
beefy and barrel-chested he-men,
short and stocky musclebears…
Um, more please?

I am a big fan of pro-wrestling.  No surprise there, I bet.  Specifically, I love old-school pro-wrestling where it involves massive, big, muscular, husky, chubby, bearish men who are practically nude with their wrestling singlets.  I have always enjoyed watching these behemoth warriors do what they do best in the squared circle…

Well, SDW Media, was my source for that obsession.  That company’s owner has always been very friendly and reliable with my orders.  I used to be his customer back when he used to provide these valuable archives on eBay.  He was not selling them on DVD at the time, so I would highly recommend you guys in checking out his DVDs.  My VHS tapes were in great condition, but you can never go wrong with the DVD format…

(As a note, if you’re thinking of getting VHS instead of DVD, the company’s only selling them in NTSC format and not PAL.  DVDs, on the other hand, will play in any region.  So go with DVDs!)

By the way, check out my “tags” at the bottom of this post.  Specifically the names of such classic bearish pro-wrestlers.  I wrote them all down just by staring at the collage I’ve made from SDW Media’s screenshots of their videos.  And I did it all through my memory alone. Impressive? Lol. Yeah, I’m smug and proud about my encyclopedic knowledge of massive and husky pro-wrestlers.  Still, some of you guys probably know a lot more that I do though. ^_^

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