Return Of The Tiger was one of my guilty favorites when I was a kid. I loved watching kung fu and what made this movie special was the main villain: Paul Smith. I previously posted about him, and I’ve gotten requests to post more stills from the movie. Once I get the time, I’ll start to extract clips from the movie.
“Let’s make sure we tie up this big bear real good!”
“You know what I would like to smoke?” the oblivious Asian man asks.
And that’s when Paul Smith awkwardly covers up his family jewels.
“Mental note: Extra Large bathrobes are not really that large in Hong Kong.”
“Mr. Smith, in Hong Kong, we show appreciation with rubbing
our legs on big men’s bellies.”
“Rubbing belly with hands too!”
When a big log “rubs” his big gut, Paul Smith realizes that these
kung fu guys may not be all that friendly after all.
During the late ’70s and early ’80s, I was growing up in the Philippines and utterly confused about my curious attractions to big men. One of the actors that fed my visual appetites was an actor named Paul Smith. I’ve probably rented and watched Midnight Express on Betamax so many times that I can’t quite remember.
Another early lust of mine and somewhat resembled Paul Smith was Bud Spencer. Bud’s films were harder to find in Betamax so I resorted to anticipating the Saturday Afternoon TV Matinees (on 1 channel out of a total 5) as they would typically show one of his numerous dubbed films.
One day, I decided to put a piece of tape on a Betamax tape’s notch (there’s normally a piece of plastic here so that recording was possible). I’ve rented this Betamax (it was a Claymation film called I Go Pogo) from a nearby Mom and Pop store so that I would be able to record a Bud Spencer movie called Banana Joe. I told my Grandma that I lost the Betamax tape so I was rewarded with a good, old-fashioned butt-spanking while she paid 20 Pesos for my lost “I Go Pogo” tape. But it was worth it. To this day, I still have this Betamax tape. If I so desire, I can watch it again from a Betamax player I had won from eBay a few years ago.
Fast forward to today. I’m 35. Alone. And, well, lonely. How the years do drastically change. Paul Smith and Bud Spencer are in their 80’s (for Pete’s sakes, I can actually type down the word, “octogenarians”). There are a gazillion channels out there. Renting and buying entertainment in physical media form is becoming obsolete. Kids nowadays can get practically anything through a high-speed internet connection.
Yeah, I feel old. I’m also an evolving breed of the detached voyeur and eager collector of lusted bearish men. I flow with the times. Instead of a notebook, I start a blog. Instead of talking to myself, I now ramble and rant with others. I used to collect and share images & videos of my attractions via Betamax, VHS, and DVDs; now most of my collection are digital collections all stored in a computer hard drive.
I would like to stop and live life before I myself get lucky or unlucky enough to become an octogenarian. But, the strange thing is, I enjoy this. I guess, until then, this blog will continue on, unless one day, others can just download everything that I possess through a headset that transmits knowledge directly into the brain. That would be a Fantastic Planet…