I Am Not In A Good Mood At All

I just deleted a Boris Haraldsson video from YouTube.  You see, someone had created a YouTube account today so that she could email me a very sweet and polite request:

hi you have a video on your channel that has Boris Haraldsson and i am a personal friend of his and was wondering would you maybe remove the video because he has been contacted by many males thinking that he has some relation to your channel and video he is constantly emailed and harassed by people who have tried to contact him through the content of the video

thanks please get back to me if necessary

Believe, me, I did get back to her, because it was indeed necessary…

I will delete it, but I’d like to ask a few questions:

1. If a woman, like yourself, posted this video, would that make the video acceptable?  Would it be okay if he gets harassed by women?

I really just can’t stand all these intolerance and discrimination against gay men.  Furthermore, I have no control over what other people say to other people.  How did they even contact Boris?  I did not provide his email/physical address at all.  Have you seen how people would make rude comments on YouTube?  I don’t even see any rude comments made on this video you want put down.  In fact, I’ll make it a point to delete them if they did show up.

Which brings me to this next question:

2. What exactly does “relation to my video” mean?  Have you not considered that even if a non-gay person posted that same video, Boris will probably still get harassed?

Unfortunately, because I am a gay man, I am for some reason directly responsible for Boris’ sufferings of harassment from gay men.  Because, as we all know, not only do I personally know every gay man in the world, I must also control what they can say, hear, feel, and do.

I am deleting the video not because you feel that it is causing the “strong” man emotional harm (does his email program have a “delete” function?).  Realize that he is in the public eye and he will be criticized and commented on — and not just by gay men.

I am deleting it because your personal friend is nothing but an intolerant person.

I get a lot of similar requests like these (polite emails, cloaked within a sea of hateful words), and I just want to vent about it because I can’t stomach such double-standards and hypocrisy any longer.  And, furthermore, I’m not apologizing for targeting Boris Haraldsson about it.

However, here are more photos of him.  Sure he’s hot and woofy on the outside.  Inside though.  Well, I think that I have commented enough about it.

P.S.: Attention all gay men: Send Boris lots and lots of fan mail.  We are The Collective.  We Must Comply.

Unlike Boris, Mr. Terry Hollands is very nice to all his fans, regardless of sexual orientation.

15 thoughts on “I Am Not In A Good Mood At All”

  1. @ Tomas:
    Don’t be sorry, friend. You have every right to feel what you’re feeling, and I can definitely see where you are coming from. I just wish that people realize that gay or not, there will always be these “douchebags with no social skills.” It’s somewhat not fair to blame gay people with these type of behavior and attitude for the general consensus of all gay folk, while straight people with this type of social ineptitude get a free pass and don’t represent the whole of the heterosexual community.

    It’s a “by-the-numbers” thing. Being in the minority, our “inept” brethren tend to unfortunately represent us. Like that old adage about a “few bad apples spoiling the bunch,” their less-than-stellar attitudes toward others get magnified and eventually make us “look bad.”

    Thing is, once the rest of the world starts to see us as “people” and not “people who have chosen an alternative lifestyle,” then the behaviors of our “gay bad apples” would not even be an issue. Such attitudes would just be taken at face value.

  2. @ BassBoom:
    It’s the “risk” that people like you and I take (lol, I’m making this sound so serious). Like anything in life, there will always be a giver, a taker, a moocher, and an abuser. The “abuser” tend to ruin things for the rest of the social, communal group.

    But BassBoom, you and others like us have this desire to celebrate who we love and the bumps on the road that we hit should not deter us at all. We just need to expect some sacrifices from losing a photo and a video or two. It’s just a part of life. What these “abusers” tend to forget is that they’re losing out as well. They need to realize that they’re nothing but parasites that will eventually ruin their own fun.

    But it’s just human nature, I guess. In fact, they become such a “challenge” that it is actually beneficial for the rest of us, since it keeps us on our toes and keeps us grounded when we do talk about our loves and passions. Because of them, we do our best not to become them. So there is something “good” and “healthy” about their very existence.

    /ends channeling Buddha

  3. im not saying you specifically bearmythology, but in my group, i refrain from posting a lot of stuff because it is true that there’s a small few guys who lack tact and ruin it for everyone else with pretty much sexual harassment messages to the video owners and then they end up taking down their videos never to be seen again…

  4. here’s my modest 2 cents on this problem:

    for every step forward the Queer community does in achieving acceptance for others and for people who are not gay/queer/trans/etc, there’s sad, lonely douchebags with no social skills whatsoever who don’t know how to express themselves and ruin it for just about everyone. they are probably the same people who stare at you at the gay bar for hours on end, but won’t approach you and say hi. or the passive aggressive sexless person who grabs your ass on the way to the bar to order a drink. they are the same and one person.

    and to be honest with you they make me ashamed of being a gay man, and i guarantee you that their behavior sends a lot of otherwise gay/curious men into the closet and into a world of misunderstanding and fear.

    these gay guys are part of the reason why we’re still the minority we are that looks the same in every tv show and Pride parade. other country and cultures have actually achieved a broader sense of understanding homosexuality and what homosexuals look and act like. even nations that are more repressed like Japan do better at welcoming people from all walks of life, shapes and sizes with a smile and without judgement based on facial hair, six-packs, or Abercrombie&Fitch clothes.

    so yeah, i don’t blame them for wanting their videos removed and i actually side with the straight folks on this one.


    my 2 cents.

  5. @ efasar:
    I partly agree with you about the free-for-all nature of the internet. You mentioned Perez Hilton (who, sadly, I did not know about) so I googled him and I wish that I’m not being perceived like him (no offense to him, but I try not to draw such “artsy” drippings on people’s mouths). 😉

    However, I think that there should be a reciprocation of respect, especially since I’m literally posting/sharing their images (and, more often than not, without permission). I owe them that at the very least. But then again, that’s just me. ^_^

    @ bearlover:
    Thank you for the support and making me blush with your comments. And I thank you for understanding and sharing my vision about this blog. That really means a lot to me. BIG HUGS, my friend.

  6. back from the travel, i’ll second what Tommy said at the top. it’s very much the result of the ignorance of hetero homophobic men and the women loving them and jealous of gay men who seem to get the better of those men’s sexuality. will, you are pioneer in this field, you’re doing a great job. and those folks who carelessly blame us need to be educated as much as the fact we are exposing them to a sexual zone that those unconsciously hot men were often unaware of… but we’ll be better and hope to see Boris turning more confident and begins to enjoy male sexual attention like Terry does. –Terry Holland, btw, is much much hotter than Boris, seriously– 🙂

  7. Hahahahah …. oh me, oh my …

    “He doesn’t want to get contacted by…” BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Yeah. Haven’t we heard this before? I mean, not necessarily in the bear scene, but … seriously … Tom Cruise anyone? How pissed was he when he found out he was a gay icon (as though he didn’t already know)? Brad Pitt? John Goodman for chrissake?

    Well, I don’t know why you pulled the video. Maybe I missed a “YouTube DMCA Request” in there somewhere. I just like the purty pictures, so perhaps I got distracted. Out of curiosity, did you pull it because his nutjob “girlfriend” requested it? Or was there more to it?

    I realize that I got to this party late, so I’m just singing along with the choir … but why is she defending him and not he himself? It seems to me that if she really cared for his welfare like a lawyer or a manager or an agent or even a concerned parent that she’d at least capitalize something every once in a while, use a comma, or perhaps even run the email through a proofreader. Or something. Anything. Jeez. Oh, and please, why would anyone serious start out a letter with uncapitalized “hi” no enter key? The whole thing reminds me of a hyper-exaggerated LOLCats message.

    Perez Hilton wouldn’t have pulled the video! 😉

    And one last thought. It’s the internets. You can say anything you want, copy anything you want, link to anything you want, and use anything you want out of any context you want. I can crop GW’s head and stick it on Anna Nicole’s nekkid ass and paint on sequin paisties on it if I want. In fact, I probably already did. It’s a non-issue.

    – end soapbox –

  8. GARRIX:
    I just happen to have a low opinion of the behavior of most horny men.


    A good friend had just recently asked this question:

    “Just because I found it on the Web, does it give me the right to share this discovery in a context that it wasn’t originally intended for?”

    Let me use me as an example. I’d say that I have probably posted about 90% worth of “straight” bearish men. I have just increased the probability of such a straight man not appreciating seeing his photos in a “gay blog.” So I’m not really surprised when I get such requests to remove their photos/videos/etc.

    However, what they haven’t seem to notice is that I do not post photos taken via hidden cameras or the like. ALL photos and videos are obtained from movies, tv, and on the web. More or less, they are here because they have chosen a profession where they are and will always be publicly visible.

    The point is, they pick and choose who can comment on them. Tommy is right. I wasn’t complaining about the “Female Crazies.” I was referring to the fact that they want to use the “harassment” that they suffer through as a way to express their deep-seated fear and hatred toward gay men.

    Let’s go one step further. What exactly is the harassment they’re getting? This is all hearsay, and even if the harassment is indeed justfifiable, does it mean that ALL gay people are responsible for this? NO. It’s a cowardly attempt at using gay men as a straw man.

    More specifically, the appeal to remove a photo/video shared by a gay man (me) because the “victim” has been harassed by gay men is nothing but an informal fallacy called “ad hominem.” He finds my posting his photo and video the cause of the harassment. The short 9-second video clip I posted was from a publicly-televised Strongman event. Still, for some reason, I am the cause for the harassment.

    As for the actual harassment. Please. We’re in this constantly evolving digitally-connected age where everyone will have an opinion on you — specifically if you are in the public eye. We will comment in just about every conceivable form of communication we could get our hands on. There’s no getting away around it. If it’s harassment via email, how could he even know that it’s a “gay man”? It could just be a 12 year old playing a prank.

    To me, email harassment is cyber-stalking and it’s a crime that is definitely not acceptable. If this is the case, then the problem is with the stalker. NOT the gay blogger who posted the 9-second video clip of a publicly-televised event.

    However, this argument about my posting a video clip as the cause for harassment is like comparing gay men to pedophiles. It’s the exact argument that once gay men are given equal rights, we will corrupt and molest children. Hence, they want to silence us before we could infect and abuse them. In contrast, they want to censor any gay-related reference to them because people will think that they’re gay.

    It’s all about fear, hatred, and intolerance. That is what this is all about.

  9. How the hell did people get his email?! It’s interesting that his female friend, instead of him personally, has to tell this to you. Don’t you think it’s her that has a problem and not Boris? Incidentally, I don’t see any videos of Boris on YouTube. That’s sad, I didn’t get the opportunity to download the video 🙁 because I sure would love to have a copy of it. Anyway, being admired by women and MEN is part of being a celebrity and he should have the balls to accept what comes of that. That’s why I don’t think you should have taken it down so he and her friend can learn to be more tolerant. Anyway, why would he complain about that video when he has a photo of him acting gay while holding a lady’s purse in his profile?


    At least we still have beefy woofy men like Terry Hollands, Bill Kazmaier, Brian Shoonveld, Heinz Ollesch, Brian Turner, Chad Aichs, and Phil Martin.

  10. he’s nice, but I can easily gay-ly do without him when I have my fantasies on bearish men. We don’t need him in this world.

  11. um, the problem is, honestly- gay men are crazy. Crazier (in general) than women, and are more likely to be crazy to other men online more than women. its just the testosterone makes men (all men) do stupid, stupid things, and say stupid shit. Think if this were reversed and you posted a picture of a female model and the model was getting the crazy shit emails from hetero men….

    I just happen to have a low opinion of the behavior of most horny men.

    (please dont get angry…) lol

  12. Well, as I said to Britney Spears yesterday…”you put yourself out there for everyone to see and you’ll never have any privacy and everyone will want to be your best friend”. In other words, get over it, Boris. You are a bear icon whether you like it or not. Change your phone number to unlisted and use your delete button if you don’t like what you read, but you can’t stop something like this. Just because the video was taken down, we still watch you on television. You’d have to drop out of competing in strongman contests to keep us “people” from looking at you and drooling.

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