Big Van Vader: Big Bear Is The Centerfold

I’m 35 years old, but in closeted gay years, you would have to divide that number by 2.  So, I’m technically 14 and a half years old.  Unlike most of our heterosexual brethren, who had pretty much lived “normal” lives, my adolescent growth had been “stunted,” so to speak.  99.99% of it is my fault as I’m cowardly about coming out of the closet.  In a way, I still am; but as the years punish pass me by, I’ve grown to accept my decision of being a, well, loser.  Lol.  Whatevs.  Talk to the hand.  😉

[EDIT: Lol.  Someone had pointed out my unfortunate math skills.  That would be 17 and a half years old.]

Anyway, with that emo moment out of the way, I just can’t believe that I have not posted about Leon Allen White — otherwise known as Big Van Vader, The Man They Call Vader, Vader, or just Amazingly Hot Bearish Wrestler of All-Time.

I remember always checking out the newsstands and bookstores to see the latest pro-wrestling magazines and hoping against hope that Vader would grace the covers.  Lo and behold, he had and here are two close-up scans of two magazines that I still have in unbelievably pristine condition…  Gee, I wonder why I own these two very specific magazines?

Here are other magazines Mr. Vader had shown up in.  I’m a visual person, and when certain texts are superimposed against such vivid images, I just go nuts — literally.  Check these out…


Can anyone STOP this INDESTRUCTIBLE MONSTER?


Vader CRUSHES Sting


IT’S CLOBBERING TIME
(Bonus: HE SHOOTS… HE SCORES)


MASTODON ON THE LOOSE!
CAN THE MAN THEY CALL VADER BE STOPPED?


Vader’s Vow Of Violence
“I’VE BEGUN MY SYSTEMATIC DESTRUCTION OF HULK HOGAN!” *

* I always admire massive mean men who use extensive vocabulary when making vows of violence.

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8 thoughts on “Big Van Vader: Big Bear Is The Centerfold Leave a comment

  1. I love the one where he’s a giant (“indestructable monster”) — do you have a bigger version of that?

  2. Unfortunately, that wasn’t my scan nor did I have that magazine. Believe me, if I had a bigger scan, I’d post that instead of that rinky dink one. Trust me though, I’m gonna be hunting it down. 🙂

  3. I remember Vader! Heck, looking back on it, there were a lot of really hot guys when I watched wrestling (from the early to late 90’s).

    At the time, my crush was on Jeff Hardy, but now I think the sexiest wrestler that ever was was the one you already did a post on–Big Bossman.

    Oh, and incindentally, I always thought Ric Flair’s curly blonde hair looked like chicken-flavored ramen.

  4. Jeff Hardy? Um… Jeff Hardy? Um, like, Jeff Hardy? Wow, that caught me off-guard. Lol.

    Thank the heavens you then mentioned Big Bossman. That was a close call.

    And, yeah, Ric Flair’s blonde hair does look like chicken-flavored ramen. That should be a band name: “Ric Flair’s Chicken-Flavored Ramen’s Blonde Hair.”

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