The Case Against The Increased Exposure Of Armpits In The NFL

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The NFL is currently in a sticky bind trying to create a balanced and fair “harsh penalty” for players who would flagrantly hit and intentionally harm other players [ESPN].  I have been following this news and it basically resembles any workplace where management has no clue whatsoever what their employees would go through in their respective jobs.  A frustrated defensive player who is being forced to make a split-second decision about the safety of his opponent is no different from any corporate America employee being told by management what to do when they haven’t even experienced their employees’ jobs firsthand at all.

In short, a sure-fire way to have a disgruntled employee is to make his or her job difficult.  That’s pretty much the case with any human interactions, whether it be in sports, work, school, and, well, anything else.

However interesting that may be (lol), I am far more concerned with a much sinister and heinous argument that just might bring the NFL to even lower depths: people complaining about the increased exposure of armpits on the football field!

Stephen Peterman

Paul Lukas has a hilarious commentary in his “Uni Watch” segment in ESPN.com called “Simply stated, these jerseys are the pits”:

Of course, being an Armpit Aficionado I am completely against his rally cry against the increased exposure of armpits in the NFL.  To combat this, I will selectively choose some of Mr. Lukas’ points so that I could easily contradict him.

Let us begin our battle of “pits,” shall we?

But some players have been pushing the sleeveless style past the limits of visual propriety. For years, the poster child for this look has been Chris Hovan, who’s basically had his jersey tailored like a tank top, revealing more of his body than Uni Watch (or, most likely, anyone) wants to see.

Au contraire, Pepe Le Pew.  The NFL is stacked to the brim with magnificent and imposing behemoths whose muscular and stocky builds are completely encumbered by needless jerseys, shoulder pads, and helmets.  These men are our living mythical giants who, on any given Sunday, push their strengths and endurance to the limits for our entertainment.  They are the wonders of our modern age, gladiators of a brutal sport, and the glue that binds people together as well as a polarizer of cities & communities.  That being said, it would be totally awesome if football players were just shirtless.  So, yes, there are people out there who actually respect and admire the human form.  If a football player like Chris Hovan tailors his jersey like a tanktop, then that’s just a bonus for us fans and non-fans alike.  Yes, there are people out there who appreciate Hovan’s armpits.  As much as you probably enjoy watching the Lingerie Football League.

3. Ixnay on the exflay. Tired of the recent trend of players flexing like bodybuilders? That’s yet another byproduct of the faux sleeves. Wouldn’t be happening if the players’ upper arms were covered.

Seriously?  Your number 3 reason for banning exposed armpits is because it would cause more football players to flex their muscles?  And let’s just say that it’s true that all men in the world who wear sleeveless shirts severely suffer from Acute-Muscle-Flexing-Syndrome-Because-I’m-Wearing-A-Wifebeater, then what exactly is wrong with that?  Men, especially men of the bigger variety, have the right to be proud of their bodies and strength.  Of course there is a time and place to do so, in regards to sportsmanship versus showmanship, but please don’t blame the sleeveless jersey for causing men’s inherent desire to display their Alpha Maleness.

Okay.  Now that I have conveniently avoided responding to Mr. Lukas’ finer & compelling points, let me pleasantly end my needless rant with a cavalcade of photos of Chris Hovan’s magnificent and spectacular armpits…

And to end on a finer rose-scented note, here is the Hovan family…  Wow.  I just love this image.

Radu “Valahu” Georgescu: Massive Romanian Arm Wrestler

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Rick Zumwalt’s character “Bull Hurley” has been a major factor and influence in my realization that I was attracted towards big and burly men.  His larger-than-life portrayal of a very intimidating and powerful arm wrestler is forever embedded in my memory: the red tanktop, the bald head, the thick & sweaty biceps, the perfect goatee, and his aggressively cocky demeanor were the physical features and personality traits that fueled my imagination and “sexual awakening,” if you will.

Well, today, I’d like to introduce to you Mr. Radu “Valahu” Georgescu or as I’d like to think of him as The Romanian Bull Hurley Version 2.0.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  Rick Zumwalt may not be physically in this world anymore, but there will be people (from past, present, and future) who will always possess such amazingly similar traits.  Radu may not be bald nor possess a goatee, but what a trade-off with that spectacular beard!  Jury’s still out with the bandanas though…

Those screenshots from the collage were taken from this YouTube video:

And speaking of my coincidental Bull Hurley comparison, here is Hurley wearing a yellow tanktop and Radu wearing a yellow shirt!  OMG like that is so true!

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Shirtless Saturday: Sedrick Ellis (Life Magazine’s Portrait Session)

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Once upon a time, when this blogger used to actually blog on a regular basis, he had put up a “Shirtless Saturday” post about a massive lineman for the New Orleans Saints, Sedrick Ellis.  After a year and a few months later, he found out that LIFE Magazine did a photo shoot of him (unfortunately, their search engine is not too friendly; and a way to get to just 1 of his photo shoot is by going to this url).  And I am begging all of the photo sleuths out there who could direct us to his Portrait Session as it would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, let us now have the photos do the talking, for I am downright speechless…

He’s not shirtless in this video, but you can just see the majestic wonder of his ungodly physique as his massive bulk attempts to escape the confines of his tight-fitting shirt…

Pablo Sandoval: “Kung-Fu Panda”

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Pablo Sandoval is a baseball player for the San Francisco Giants who has quite an apt nickname of “Kung-Fu Panda” (or “Pandoval”).  He got this nickname for being a speedy husky athlete.  Tonight is the National League Playoffs between the Giants and the Philadelphia Phillies.  Unfortunately, Pablo is benched for tonight’s game and I’m not sure if he’s playing through the rest of the playoffs.

Here’s an adorable video of Pablo being interviewed by FOX’s Chris Rose:

Okay, I just could not resist posting this...

Okay, before you guys and gals get mad at me for posting that animated gif, I just have this ridiculous fascination with people tripping.  Karma has rained down her vengeance upon me because I now have weak legs.  Serves me right, I suppose.  Still, I can’t stop laughing at the cuteness of the Kung-Fu Panda tripping — plus, seeing his thick body in full-speed action before the fall is worth the price of admission…  😛

Pablo Sandoval bear hugs Andres Torres... DAAAWWWW!

But, seriously, here are more photos of the handsome Pablo Sandoval…

And, finally, I really have no other thoughts about these final two photos…  😛

And, after all that, I must inject some personal opinion to end this: GO PHILLIES! (and I’m a Yankees fan)…  😉

Dear ESPN Magazine: Please Don’t Digitally Alter People’s Bodies In Your 2010’s “The Body Issue” Edition

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A good friend of mine emailed me this photo and it’s quite possibly one of the most amazing things I’ve seen all year.  It’s a semi-nude photo of the Captain of the United States’ bobsledding team, Steven Holcomb.  I am not quite sure where this photo was originally taken from, but when I checked out my ESPN Magazine’s digital edition, I noticed a big “change” that did not sit too well for me…

I am just glad that someone released that original breathtaking photo.  Anyway, I just want to send a short email to ESPN Magazine right here…

Dear ESPN Magazine,

Why would you digitally manipulate someone’s physique in your yearly edition of “The Body Issue”?  Does not that defeat the very purpose of you displaying the naturalness of your athletes’ bodies?

Please do not do this again.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Will
Secretary Of The League Of The Natural State Of Human Bodies Preservation

Okay, seriously, I’m not going to send that.  There are more pressing issues in the world than getting all riled up about someone’s beautiful belly getting brutally and ruthlessly butchered by way of photoshopping…  Okay, perhaps this is important to me.  😛

Anyway, here were some of my Tumblr contributions in the past about the handsome Steven Holcomb…  (And, no, I have not given up on on this blog.  Just please be patient with me.)

Strongman Warrick Brant

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I once heard that “Warrick Brant” was Australian for Bear.  Or something like that.  One thing is for sure though: Warrick Brant is one gigantic monster of a man…

Amongst the many fine physical features that Mr. Brant is endowed with, it is his massive arms and biceps that lure me to his wickedly charming handsomeness.  Cases in point:

And he’s also just this big hunk of a teddy bear with a gorgeous, killer smile…

When I meant "killer," I didn't mean it literally!

Derek Poundstone and Warrick Brant

Finally, here are some “select” (well, okay, “shirtless”) videos from Warrick Brant’s YouTube Page:

You can learn more about this Aussie-tanding (somebody shoot me) Strongman by visiting his Official Site and Facebook

Welcome To BearMythology Version 3.0

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Tyler Labine from Control Alt Delete

Hey there!  Long time, no post.  But it’s time to rectify that.  Life and other things took over which was why I was absent for quite a long time.  Life is still pretty hectic, but I will do my best to post as much as I can.

Sedrick Ellis, Defensive Tackle for New Orleans Saints

I’ve also changed the layout of this blog and hopefully you folks would like it…

Shirtless Saturday: Brett Rogers

brett rogers as snapFrom all elbows
He does look like Turbo B of Snap

As of today, MMA fighter Brett Rogers has an undefeated 10-0 record.  His biggest fight is also tonight against Fedor Emelianenko who is 30-1.  As much as I would like for Rogers to win this one, Emelianenko is a very experienced fighter.  Rogers is also extremely cocky about this fight that he’s made comments like “You know what I can’t honestly say I’ve seen one of Fedor’s fights”…  Now whether it’s all in the name of theatrics, but this is looking like the equivalent of a Rocky Balboa versus Clubber Lang boxing match.  And Rocky won.

Face off for camera

But, hey, I’m no MMA analyst.  The only important thing is that Brett Rogers is one thick brutish monster and here he is on Shirtless Saturday.  Their fight will be televised tonight by CBS Television.


Pretty epic promo video for the upcoming fight from a Fedor fan

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brett rogers elite xc 1

brett rogers elite xc 2

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brett rogers 203

brett rogers 204

brett rogers 205

But wait one second and hold the presses…  Check out this Behind-The-Scenes photo shoot of Fedor and Brett from M-1 Global.  Mr. Emelianenko is pretty beefy.  He just needs a few more pounds and he’ll be perfect.  (Okay, okay, so sue me!)  Anyway this is a treat for you furry chest fans…

Fedor Emelianenko

Fedor The Last Emperor

Fedor putting on gloves

New York Yankees: 2009 World Series Champions

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Jose Molina and CC Sabathia

Yes, it’s unfair.  The Yankees is basically similar to an unfairly stacked virtual sports team in a videogame with added cheat codes.  But, hey, didn’t Seven Of Nine once said: “Cheating is often more efficient.”  😉

Either way, last night made me a little happy as I am an unapologetic Yankees fan.  It made me forget about what happened in Maine.  Imagine the world as the Yankees Stadium.  Everyone except for 100 people in that stadium is a Phillies fan.  As an owner of that stadium, will you allow the Yankees fans have a say by asking them to make this vote: “Can only Yankees fan be in the stadium?”  Having a majority vote on the rights of a minority is just morally and ethically wrong.  Unfortunately, someone forgot to send that TPS Report to Mr. U.S. Constitution.

Anyway, with that out of my system, here are just a  handful of my favorite bearish Yankees…

C.C. Sabathia

Joba Chamberlain

That passion and the intensity that is Joba...

Jose Molina and Derek Jeter

Shirtless Saturday: Manuel Martinez

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Happy Halloween, guys and ghouls!  Today’s Shirtless Saturday is a very delectable treat for you all.  It’s Manuel Martinez completely naked in the upcoming film, Estigmas.  That’s right.  You’ve heard it right.  Manuel Martinez.  Is.  Not.  Wearing.  Anything.  At.  All…

And as he is truly naked, please click on to see it

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